10 Signs of a Cheating Spouse

Looking for the signs of a cheating wife, or signs of cheating men?
If you suspect that your husband or wife is having an affair, you’re probably eager to find the signs of a cheating wife or husband, and evidence that it's happening. And yes, there are different kinds of signs that point to adultery. But, it’s a combination of the signs that trigger worries about infidelity.

You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t already kind-of suspect cheating, right? You may have even seen your own signs of a cheating husband, or signs of a cheating wife. So, use these signs as examples, and then apply them to your experiences.

During our "Infidelity Secrets" Web Seminars, we've uncovered common signs of a cheating spouse, although cheating wife signs can be slightly different from cheating husband signs. However, here are the 10 Signs of Cheating that our listeners report to be key signs.

1. Your gut tells you something’s not adding up. If you feel the need to snoop, or investigate, then an unsettling feeling inside is pointing to infidelity. People that don’t suspect infidelity, don’t research it. Be honest about the red flags you are noticing. Many times, people search for signs of a cheating wife or cheating husband, hoping that their partner does NOT show the same signs. But, whatever you do, don’t completely ignore your gut.

2. Stories don’t make sense. There seems to be a missing link when your spouse explains where they’ve been. Your partner may talk to you about working late, or a long commute with heavy traffic. If times or dates don’t add up, it can create lots of questions. It’s easy for a lying partner to forget their own story. If you suspect cheating, try to remember your spouse’s story, then casually ask about it again later in the week. See if it’s still consistent.

3. If you imply your spouse is cheating, they get defensive quickly. Your spouse may figure you’ll back-off if they get angry. A heightened response is a sign that you’ve pushed a sensitive button. Even more, a cheating spouse may become explosive about unrelated trivial topics. Why? Because your partner isn’t feeling great about the marriage in the first place. Many troubles facing your marriage only become more upsetting during a crisis.

4. Your marriage has been struggling, and you’ve both felt disconnected for sometime now. Infidelity is a hard-hitting symptom of a greater problem in your marriage. If these problems remain unmet, your marriage will continue to struggle. Every relationship faces some disconnect at times, but are you both returning to a loving, intimate place after an argument? If not, your partner could be getting comfort from someone else. Visit the marriage help page to get to the source of infidelity. Feeling disconnected is one of the most common signs of a cheating wife.

5. They don’t invite you around their friends, work place, other activities, or events. Sometimes, a full-blown affair hasn’t developed. It could be a crush, or an interest in someone else. If your spouse doesn’t want to you pick him or her up, if they avoid you like the plague at certain times, there may be something they don’t want you to see. This is a common sign of a cheating wife

6. Certain information is hidden from you such as e-mail log-in’s or passwords. They won’t openly share these accounts with you. People that have nothing to hide don’t hide things. Does your spouse cling to his or her cell phone? Are they protective of their e-mail accounts. If you sense that your spouse is over-protective with their “personal” things, they may be hiding something.

7. You discover e-mail accounts that you didn’t know existed. Does your spouse have a new profile up on a website that they didn’t openly share with you ? Did you find instant messaging that you didn’t even know existed? Are you “discovering” new profiles or communication devices that are a surprise?

8. They have unusual mood swings, a sign of their own internal conflict. At times, it may seem your spouse is fierce, angry, and edgy. Other times, they are elated, thrilled, excited, possibly just before the weekend, or an evening out. Yes, happily married couples get excited and irritable too, but remember, we’re looking at more than just one sign here.

9. They are totally unavailable at times. Is the cell phone signal “suddenly” not working at peculiar times? Does your spouse not answer the phone when you call with a convenient excuse later? Yes, sometimes signals fail, but come on…how often is this happening and when? If the cell phone works perfectly fine all other times, it’s probably not the cell phone network that’s the problem.

10. Little or no sex in your marriage. Sex is more than just a physical pleasure. It’s time when couples are only focused on connecting with one another. Sex is something the two of you share that involves no one else. It’s a moment in time where all other problems fade, and you’re simply in the moment. Even more, men and women need sex. Men, especially have a greater need. Sex builds up their testosterone, which makes men feel strong, and able. If sex is a problem, it can be tough because there are lots of emotional “reasons” couples turn away from it, but there are physical reasons we need it. Some cases of infidelity are strictly for sex. Others involve a much more complex connection.